


The Christmas she realized

by AzalaisSnow



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, F/F, Illustrated
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-11
Updated: 2016-12-11
Packaged: 2018-09-08 00:02:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8821579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AzalaisSnow/pseuds/AzalaisSnow
Summary: It was near christmas when this weird feeling of something missing started to really bothered Beca.
(I'm not really good with summaries sorry ^^")





	

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so, i was bored in class the other day and I come up with this little thing for Christmas. Not much but I enjoyed writting it so I hope you'll enjoy reading it too!  
> Oh and English isn't my first language so if something isn't right just tell me and I correct! Thank you!  
> (and there is a little surprise at the end)

Nothing was right. But why that, it completely escaped Beca. She was in LA. She was sharing a very nice apartment with her boyfriend, Jesse. She was working at a recording, making her way toward fame thanks to Emily’s songs and her own efforts. It was close to the end of year's holidays and she was getting along with her father, so it’ll be a family Christmas worthy of a movie. She should be happy.

Except she was not. She was mopping around, feeling numb. Jesse had felt that she was down. He was making effort, cooking meals, bring her coffee at work, take her on dates, being romantic and all. He was really sweet and available for her, like the supporting boyfriend he is. He was trying and Beca was thankful for that. But nothing had effect. She still felt numb. It was like if something was missing. Something she couldn’t point out.

The only thing she knew it was that Jesse couldn’t help with this missing thing. Actually, with the time passing, she realized that she didn’t see Jesse as something more than her best friend anymore. Jesse was a good guy. She really liked him, but not this way. Every kisses were getting more awkward, every hugs were friendlier than anything else... And Jesse wasn’t stupid. He felt it.

So, one day, Beca went home after work to found Jesse simply sat on the couch, waiting for her despite the late hour, a serious look on his face.

“We should stop.” He said when he felt Beca sat beside him. In front of Beca silence he kept going. “We are not meant to be. Or we only are meant to be friends. So we should stop pretending right?”

“Right.” Simply answered Beca. There was nothing else to say after all.

They fell sinlence for a while. Thinking. They should be sad, or angry, or something right? But there was nothing, no cry, no scream, just some sort of relief. Jesse was right, they were only meant to be friends. And Beca was totally ok with this.

“Okay now, we are so having a Star Wars marathon!” the boy cheered up suddenly, breaking the awkward, yet oddly comfortable silence.

“Oh no! We are so not!” she protested, not really convincing, they still were best friends, and the boy probably needed it, and well Beca had started liking movies after all this time with Jesse. So she finally complied. “Ok, but just one trilogy, not the whole saga!”

And the boy got up from the couch to get his DVDs like a kid at Christmas, and Beca laughed. No, they weren’t meant to be anything else than best friends.

 

 They fell in a new routine. They redo the whole apartment to became roomies instead of a couple. Things were oddly simple and going smoothly. They knew then they had take the right decision. Beca had felt a little better for a while, pretty happy with this new scheme of life.

 Except, she wasn’t meant to stay this happy for long. The feeling of emptiness stroke back. And it stroke back rather strongly. Beca felt like there was a hole in her chest. She was aching from it. And it infuriated her somehow, because she ignored completely why she felt like this.

“Maybe you should reach for the Bellas? It could do you good?” suggested Jesse, one afternoon.

They were sat on a bench in a park, trying to escape the large crowd of people doing their last minute Christmas gift. Coffee in their hands, they were enjoying the soft warmth of LA in December. After Jesse’s words, Beca took a sip of her coffee, letting herself some time to answer. She had stopped being in touch with the Bellas once she got her diploma, she hadn’t even think of them in years. The only Bella she talked to was Emily because they were working together. She had no idea what the others had become. And frankly, she was having serious doubt on receiving a warm welcoming if she ever tried to reach them again.

“I don’t know dude, it’s been a while, I’m not sure it’s a good idea…”

They stopped talking about it. But the idea stayed there, in Beca mind. She remembered being close with this girls. She remembered the laugh, the trust, all the good time and hardwork they had together. And now that she was having all this memories back, she realized that she missed those times somehow.

She took another sip of her coffee. It was nearly empty so she let her head go backward to get the last drops. She kept her eyes opened despite the sun. She was looking the perfectly blue sky. Except she thought that it was beautiful but not perfect. She thought that there were only one shade of blue that was perfect.

Chloe’s eyes.

She shook her head and get up from the bench. She wasn’t supposed to think that. She wasn’t supposed to think of Chloe. She had sworn to herself, the day she left for LA, that she would stop thinking about the redhead. Because, if she was true to herself, she was incapable of being away from Chloe.

Now that she had unlock those thoughts, pieces started to get in place. Chloe. The name was on repeat in her head. Chloe. Of course. It had always been Chloe. It will always be Chloe. Beca was frozen in place, still holding her empty cup of coffee over the trash. Jesse gave her an odd look.

“Beca? Are you ok” he asked softly, trying not to startled his friend.

Beca slowly turn, to look at him. Her face was a strange mix of emotions. She looked like she had seen the light, and like she was scared, or like she had just realized how much she could have messed up with her own life.

“Chloe.” She whispered.

Jesse gave her a questioning look.

“I… I need to see Chloe!”

And on this words she left, almost running, her empty cup of coffee still in her hand. Jesse stood there, shocked, before it started laughing.

“It took you long enough…” he said to the wind, before running after Beca.

The boy found his friend no more than two minutes later, standing still in the entrance of the park. When the DJ saw him she had a weak chuckle.

“I have absolutely no idea of what to do, nor where to go.”

“Luckily for you, I got Aubrey’s number” the ex-Treble said, before adding “don’t ask!” seeing the questioning look on Beca’s face.

 

After Aubrey had yelled had Beca for half an hour (stuff like “Can’t you have realized earlier!” “did you at least know how much pain she suffered because of you?” and other things like this), Beca and Jesse had a plan. First Beca would do a whole Christmas album composed only with mixes of Chloe’s favorite holidays song (of course the DJ remembered every one of them), just hoping the redhead’s tastes didn’t change too much since the time when they were friends, then she will meet her. While she was doing all the mixes, Jesse was doing last minutes reservation for a flight to New York (where Chloe worked as a music teacher), before running in town for Christmas paper. When the boy came back, Beca was printing a cover for her special album, while on the phone with her dad, trying to explain why she couldn’t be home for Christmas.

“Because home is where Chloe is!” she had blurted out before hanging out the phone, slightly annoyed.

Jesse gave her a look. It made the brunette realized what she just said. And she laughed. It was so obvious that Chloe was that thing she was missing. Beca couldn’t lie to herself that she had been in love with the redhead since Barden, and if she believed what Aubrey said, Chloe was two. They were two idiots in love, incapable of admit their feelings to each other. Chloe could still reject her, but Beca was willing to take that risk.

 

That’s how Beca ended up in New York, under the Snow, two days before Christmas, standing in front of  an apartment complex, freezing to death. She had ring at Chloe’s number (Aubrey had given it to her, reluctantly), but no one answered. She tried a few times. Still no answer. So she was waiting. Maybe Chloe would get home in a few moments. But for now she was cursing herself. She hadn’t think one second at what would the weather be in New York. So she was standing under the snow without anything more than a leather jacket upon a tank top. She was trying to warming up, jumping on place when she heard her name.

“Beca?” she knew this voice, and turned around so quickly that she almost fall. “Beca…” Chloe face was surprised but she didn’t let pass any other emotions. “What… what are you doing here?”

“I…” Beca tried to speak, but she was so cold, her jaw so clenched that it hurt, making it difficult to talk. And it didn’t escape the redhead.

“Oh my god! You’re freezing Beca! Come on, let’s get you inside.”

Beca felt her muscles relaxing a little once they were into Chloe’s apartment. The redhead asked her to wait in the living room while she was grabbing something to keep her warm. Beca looked around her. The apartment was really welcoming, decorated for Christmas, all sweet and warm, just like Chloe. The brunette let herself fell on the couch, putting her arms around her. The leather of her jacket was cold, so she had a hard time warming up. Then, Chloe came back, holding a red sweater and a hot cocoa.

“Here, put that on.” She said, holding the sweater for Beca to take, after she had put the hot mug on the table.

“Oh no Beale, there is no way I’m putting on a Christmas sweater.” Beca protested.

“As you want Mitchell, I’m not the one who is cold here.” Replicated Chloe, with a slight grin “and it’s not one of those ugly sweater, so stop complaining, it’s my warmest one.”

Beca sighed. After all, the sweater only had a frieze of white snowflakes on the torso, and it seemed warm. Finally, Beca put her pride aside, took off her jacket and put on the sweater.

“How on earth could you have come to New York with only a tank top and a jeacket? Seriously are you trying to die Beca?”

“No… I… err… I really wanted to see you and… I left on a rush, without really thinking.”

“You… you wanted to see me?” Chloe was a little caught off guard.

“Yeah. Is it that hard to believe?” asked Beca.

“Hum, yes? You literally disappeared from my life after we got our diploma, so yes I have a hard time believing this, Beca.” She had put an emphasis on Beca’s name, an emphasis full of disappointment and hurt.

Beca stood up, she wanted to face the redhead. She realized that the redhead was wearing a Christmas hat at this moment, which made Beca smile a little, before she take a serious face again.

“I’m sorry. I really am. But… But I though that if I stay away from you, my feelings for you would go away. But they didn’t. so here I am. I wanted to see you. I was feeling empty, like something was missing. And somehow, Jesse made me realized that it was you I was missing. The blue of the sky wasn’t the blue of your eyes, that’s why I was never able to fully enjoy a clear sky, you know? Well nevermind... I was wondering if, maybe, if you want to, maybe we could start over again?” Beca had rambled, almost without breathing.

In front of her Chloe was opening and closing her mouth. She didn’t know what to say. She had loved Beca since day one. But the brunette had shut her out of her life. She had felt hurt and betrayed, and she should still hold a gruge against the DJ. But Beca was standing there, blushing, going from one foot to another. She looked so fragile in Chloe’s favorite Christmas sweater, how could Chloe be mad at her?

“Oh! And I got you something!”

Beca remembered the CD in her backpack, the one she had left in the apartment entrance. But before she could go grab it, Chloe had pass an arm around her neck, her other hand taking Beca’s left hand. Chloe hesitated, but when she felt Beca putting her right arm around her waist, she went for it. Nothing foolish, she just kissed Beca’s cheek. Their fingers intertwined, and Beca relaxed.

“I take that as a yes, we can start over.” She said, smiling.

Chloe laughed. “I really would like that Beca. But I’m mostly amazed by all the way you did just to ask me that…. Maybe you should stay over for Christmas? Since I don’t go to my parents’ house this year…” she had asked, rather shyly, biting her bottom lip on the process.

“I would love that.” Beca answered softly.

For a moment, they lost themselves in each other’s eyes, before Beca dared to broke their gaze to kiss Chloe, hoping it wasn’t too forward. It wasn’t. Chloe answered the kiss. And it was like everything was in its right place. At this moment, Beca was happy, and she knew deep down that this feeling would stay.

It was clearly the best Christmas of their life. (and Beca would deny all her life she had wear a Christmas sweater.)

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yep! the drawing is from me! Hope you liked it (both fic and drawing) thank you for reading!!
> 
> You can find my others drawings and fic on my tumblr ninth-on-eight if ever you get bored ;)


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